kids will surprise you

Each time I have the kids for a full weekend we're given a grocery list and need to get everything on it before the weekend starts. My list last weekend consisted of granola bars and frozen lasagna, spaghetti and frozen garlic bread, and all sorts of other things that really can't be good for the kids. As I also mentioned before, I got yogurt for smoothies. I realized later that the cheapest yogurt is the worst yogurt. It has a ton of HFCS. But we only added a small amount compared to the amount of fruit and fresh OJ so I guess it wasn't that bad.

Friday night I had my partner take our older girls to the grocery store to pick out what they wanted for the next day. I know they're healthy eaters and nothing healthy was on my grocery list. These girls are all 12 to 15 years old. The bought supplies to make two different types of salad. All I can say is WOW! We had a spinach and dried cranberry salad and a traditional dinner salad with chicken. At that age I would have chosen spaghetti or pizza anytime over salad.

Next time I might just hold off on the grocery list and let them help out more. For the first time in weeks we didn't have bacon and hashbrowns for breakfast or PB&J for lunch. Its very exciting to see what kids choose with a little bit of freedom.

new food

Today I went grocery shopping for my kids for this weekend. I've noticed the older girls are becoming more aware of their health. Last weekend I took a bunch of them hiking and I'm hoping I can do the same this weekend. We've been bringing along fresh fruit and trail mix. Most of this is their idea too which I love to see.

So as I was shopping I picked up extra yogurt and frozen fruit so we can make smoothies. This is very exciting for me. Though I'm a fan of the PB&J, did you know that it contains about 400 calories of almost all sugar?! Some of our kids are all but allergic to sugar. They have extreme behavioral changes when they eat that kind of sugar.

The fresh fruit is really going over well right now. What I'm looking for now are more ideas for dinner and lunch. I always go for the easy stuff to fix. I don't have much of a choice most of the time. Does anyone have any ideas for things that are easy to take on outings? Maybe something we can make the night before and pack for lunches. Its hard to come up with new ideas all the time.

I'm enjoying having the kids get so excited about their health. A few of them got a little sad when the found out I wouldn't be there to take them running last Sunday morning. These were the ones who complained when they heard we would be hiking on Saturday. Sometimes just engaging them in these activities and showing them how to make these choices on their own can do them so much good. And I can't even express how rewarding it is for me.

House...

Though I work with children who have behavioral problems, I got my BS in Microbiology. While I was going to school I loved the show House. Its surprisingly medicaly accurate. They focus more on the illness than the drama of the characters. I took an immunology class that I loved, and the professor would give us cases for different diseases and we would have to figure out what parts of the immune system were working. She'd give us take home exams that would coincide with House marathons on television. It was so convenient how that show would get my mind going just enough so I could get everything right on the exams.
These days I can hardly watch it. I'm not sure why. Sometimes its because its too much. When I worked at the hospital it was my favorite thing to spend time with the patients with the worst injuries or illnesses. One kid had aplastic bronchitis (which is a little crazy) and I adored him. Mostly, I miss that and would love to have it again.
I guess my point is that ER and Grey's went south with all the drama. House remains true to its nature. You gotta love it!

The past

Lately nothing seems to go right for me. I don't have the job I'd like to have. I had two tickets at the end of last year and only got out of one thanks to a cop who couldn't fill out the form correctly. The very strange man I once dated seems to be at my gym by 3 p.m. sharp even though he lives across town, much closer to another gym he could go to, and he stands in front of my treadmill staring at the television or talking to someone everytime I see him. The man I have recently been seeing doesn't seem to know how to talk and we keep going through these periods of awkward silence I can't seem to get used too. And it seems that lately my friends, who are usually my closest advisors, can't help me feel better despite their best efforts. There's no one to blame. Not everything is bad.
Here is what I've realized about this situation. With every bad incident there are also lots of good ones. We can't hold on to the past. Even if the past is just last week.
I've noticed that some of our kids at work are aging out of our program. Some of them are in long term foster families and some are in adoptive families but they understand that they're on their own once they reach 18. All of this is stressfull. We don't like to lose the good life we once had. For some people its moving on after high school, and for some its readjusting to life after marriage and kids. Sometimes its just being able to adjust to having a stable life in one place without moving every time something goes wrong.
In all of these situations we need to learn to let go of the past. That means letting go of how we expected our lives to be and accepting what we actually have. I have great memories of how my life was five years ago. There's no way my life could have stayed that way. Though my job is frustrating because I hate working weekends, I love helping these kids. To help them in the best way I can I need to let go of my past in order to help them let go of their past. Then we can all find a spectacular future.

Some things are just too far beyond my understanding

This holiday season we have adopted two families we work with that really need our help. One family is homeless and the other has two blind parents who can't even afford winter coats. Our company is helping the one family with the deposit on their new appartment and was helping to buy coats for the other. A local organization with very generous members donated gifts.

I have been overwhelmed with appreciation for what has been done to help these families. I have worked countless hours to make this happen. completely volunteering my time. Some people are so amazing in their willingness to help.

We have been planning to deliver the gifts tomorrow. I loaded them in my car tonight because I knew I would not be going home again before this delivery. I stopped over at a friend's house and we went to look at christmas lights and have dinner. When I came back I got into my car and looked around for my glasses. I noticed they were gone. So was my iPod. My first thought was the presents. I ran around to my trunk thinking there was no way anyone would take the presents. But when I looked inside they were gone too.

These wonderful people had donated over $600 of presents for these families, including winter coats, and it was all gone. I still don't know what to tell them. I'm just devistated.

I'm sure these people have no idea what they've done. I'm very lucky because everyone has been so supportive of me. But I just can't help feeling so bad. I think I lost over $300 worth of my own things (sunglasses & iPod, etc.) but I would be perfectly happy too just get back the gifts for those kids.

I didn't leave a door open. No one broke a window. They broke a lock and then slid a window down just enough to unlock the door and get in. I don't know what goes through the mind of a person who does something like this.

Word of advice: Leave nothing in your car and lock it all the time. Even in the best neigborhoods.

Cook with your children, not for them

I have recently taken on a new task with my kids at work. I am cooking with them.
Most children you and I would normally come in contact with do not have any childhood trauma to deal with. Trauma like this will often lead to substance abuse or eating disorders. But as all children get older they will encounter situations where they are exposed to things we can not control and that can also influence their decisions of what to put in their bodies.
I have educated myself in nutrition over my years of formal education. Cooking comes easily to me and I have found it to be a very rewarding activity. Especially when I can teach others how to prepare a more healthy meal.
Teaching children of all ages how to cook and how important it is to be aware of what they put in their bodies may be the most rewarding task I've taken on yet.
Just letting kids participate in the process of preparing a meal helps them feel important. It can also mold their eating habbits for life.
I'm always looking for new things to cook with my kids. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Next time you're preparing dinner (Thanksgiving is a great time), remember to include your kids or grandkids in the process.

The joy of dating...

I haven't updated this in such a long time....because I forgot my password and I've learned it is very hard to get in again after that.

Lately I have settled in nicely to my (what I'm discovering might be permanent) position as the third, fifth, seventh, or any other odd number wheel among my group of friends. We go to the symphony, dinner, the movies, and many special events together. They even let me come over now and then when I'm in need of someone to cook for. I think we both get great pleasure from an event like that though.

Going on dates lately hasn't been something I've been trying too hard to do. I have no real reasons. I'm not bitter. I'm not overly picky. I'm definitely not having trouble finding someone to date. Instead, I am highly amused by the few dates I have been on in the past few months. For all those of you who are married out there...this should be a fun reminder of why you're not single anymore.

• A good one was the man who offered to buy me a car on our first date. While talking about what we might do for a second date, this man saw my car and the dent in the side of it. At first I was slightly embarrassed about my car, but then he suggested that maybe he should buy me a new car on our second date. Some might think he was kidding, and I did too. I quickly found out he couldn't have been more serious. I was no longer embarrassed, but now I was frantically looking for the fastest excuse to leave and not have a second date. I might be old fashioned, but I never thought a new car was they way to a woman's heart. That, and being a little to forward was what cost him any further dates.


• This one may be my favorite. I was invited to a social event with a man I've known through friends for several months. We get to the event and meet his friend and his friend's girlfriend. At that time I believe it is a double date or even just a friendly way to get to know each other better. Soon I am introduced to two friends of the other girl who is with us. This is where I show how naive I still am. I think these other girls just happened to be there by chance. I'm not one who needs to be babysat so when the boys seperate from the girls for a few minutes I try to join in the conversation. Suddenly the girls either won't speak to me, or are very short and almost rude with what they say. I excuse myself to find the boys and figure out why this happened. End result: One of the other girls was actually on a date with my date (neither of us knew this), and another one of their friends had previously been dating my date for several months and may have still been dating him. Next, I meet another lovely young woman speaking with my date. She had the very same thing happen to her just a month or so earlier, with my date. How many dates does one man need in one night? I believe most men who are so bold to make more than one date in a night at least try to schedule them at different times. Very confusing, but in the end very funny.


• I went on a date just last week with one of the first people I ever dated. Though we didn't date for very long, I'm surprised he could remember anything at all. I went through a number of events that occurred while we were dating and he didn't remember a thing. One very unforgetable date was our first one. I wasn't old enough to date and he wanted to go to a movie with me so my parents came. Yes, this is embarrassing for both parties. If you ever had a date where someone's parents came along, would you EVER forget it?!


• I had been on a date with one gentleman before and I decided to meet him at his house for our second date. We met there and were planning to go out from there. First, he couldn't decide where we would be going. I offered several suggestions thinking I might know the area better. This didn't seem to help him. We spent at least thirty minutes playing this game before we made a decision on dinner. Next, we were about to leave the parking lot when he told me he forgot something and we needed to go back. I decided to go inside with him. I then found out he forgot to put gel in his hair. Men should not be more particular about their hair than women. We didn't stop dating for that reason, but he never learned to make a decision for any of our dates. I shouldn't have to do all the work while he spends time on his hair.

My current difficulty lies with trying to find a polite way to turn down a date. I went on dates for fun when I was much younger but now that I'm older I don't have the patience to make conversation with a person I couldn't (or didn't want to) talk to when I first met them. I've been asked to dinner, special events, and many many things with people I'd rather not go with. Maybe I'm so comfortable with going to these events with my dearest friends that its much harder to find someone I would have as much fun with. For now, I'm much to comfortable with this routine to change it. Maybe I'll consider letting someone else join us if it's really the right person.