Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Unexpected Mothers

I don't think any person can ever prepare for the task of being a mother. Some become a mother because they've planned it their entire lives and things have worked out perfectly for them. Others become mothers by a very unexpected turn of events that they never imagined would happen at the time it does. Either way, motherhood comes with so many unexpected twists and turns.

There is a different type of mother. One I heard of growing up but never thought I would be. There was an italian woman I met living in italy who fell in love at the age of 19. The man she was so in love with refused to convert to her religion and she made the decision that they should go their seperate ways. She heard from him several times in the next forty years and he often asked her to run away with him. Just as often, she refused. She never married. I met her when she was about 60 years old. For the year I was there she was much like a mother to me. She was a mother to many that didn't have one. She constantly took in those who had been outcast by their family, or who may have lived far away from home. She never had children but she still had the joy of motherhood in a way she'd never expected.

Lately I have the pleasure of working with the most amazing children. Many of them are taken care of by grandparents, foster families, and adoptive parents. I get them on weekends. Last week a very quiet girl who rarely wanted to participate in group activities had the best time I have ever seen her have plotting an innocent prank against my partner with some of the other girls. There are others who show extreme brilliance when someone talks to them about the things they are excited about. Its such a joy to see there faces so often. So many of them have never felt that anyone enjoys being around them so much with no expectation. These children have been left behind by those who view their behavioral problems as too much to deal with. At first I found them difficult to deal with. Now I find it hard to take time away.

These children leave me wanting children much sooner than I expected. Though I want to share the experience of pregnancy and a new baby with my eternal partner, I want to adopt a beautiful child just like these ones as soon as I am financially able to. I can't choose when I will meet the perfect person for me and I don't want to plan my life around finding that person. I'm finally in a position in my life where I can begin to prepare for the task of taking on one of these adorable chilren. Of all the wonderful things I've done in my life I never expected this would be the one I look forward to the most.

4 comments:

Linda said...

Sounds like a very noble but daunting task, adopting a child as a single woman. But it has been done before with success. I wish you well. It was good to see you, too, today. You look beautiful even in your running attire. I am training for a half-marathon so thanks for not stopping me! Give me a call soon, 744-1217, and maybe we can do lunch. I would love to hear about your life.

Dansie Family said...

welcome to the blogsphere and it was great to hear from you. i'm excited to reconnect with you at least through our blogs.

Unknown said...

Wow your blog was beautiful! I know the feeling of wanting to adopt as well! What is your job?

Kim said...

Um, why didn't you tell me you started a blog? I know what you mean about being a mother to other peoples' children. I do that with my work as well. It is what convinced me that I could love another woman's child as my own and now we're trying to adopt. If you go to my blog and click on the Cheerio Chronicles, my friend Rachel has a post in there somewhere about her friend in Tucson who does foster care. Maybe that is something you could do when you are in a position to do it.